You’ve changed man


Take me back to when you can smoke drink eat a steak with a serve of pineapple. Beat your wife in front of the kids and no one knew about the physical and psychological abuse we were doing to mankind. No longer does the tea lady come trundling down the corridors of hospitals, trains, planes or even your busy corporate male orientated world.

Are we too aware of what is good for us and what is bad? Or do our internet educated minds just think we know enough or know enough about googling the answer we are looking for. The other day I actually googled the benefits of eating a red onion. I think the waste of my time was the biggest loser in this exercise. the principles of staying thin and getting fat are pretty well known.

Since my last post I have lost 7kg. I have done this by eating less. I can’t believe how simple yet difficult this is. Growing up i was alway very skinny. Like so skinny you would think my parents didn’t love me. Then I hated it, now i think, ‘I would have made such a good art model” with just the right amount of bone structure, ribs and yet not the feminine good looks that the American apparel or Tommy Hilfiger models possess. Back in those days I lived of Mee Goreng, coke, cigarettes, beer, weed and Big Macs. I keeps myself fit by skateboarding around 6 to 8 hours a day.

Now I’m somewhat more sober and queer, the challenge to stay thin – a new thing for me – is a challenge where I have to look at food and only imagine packing my face pussy with fists of lollies that are left on the lunchroom table. If this was the old days it would be open windows, polyester short sleeve shirts, stacks of paper in wire trays with fans blowing on male employees eating apples between swigs of whisky butting out into full ashtrays on solid wood desks.

These days are not romantic, you cant wear your latest fitness watch out to the pub without someone reviewing the application or immediate benefits and disadvantages all the while drinking a low carb beer or requesting fresh lime  vodka sodas. I want to be ignorant. If i was living between the 30s to 50s – yeah i would have a wife and a few pant poopers – but i would be alive and unaware of the consequences. So cheers modern day. You have prolonged my twilight years of impotence and incontinence replacing heart failure with highly absorbent micro fibre. You have you taken away the blur and arrested my fabulous.