Vegan Emergency

by cranberrystirling

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In an attempt to reclaim my life after a 2 week binge of drinking and emotional eating I decided to go on a vegan detox. Things were going well until I made a vegan chocolate cake. The cake would have been good without the cayenne pepper. But that was nothing compared to the following 12 hours.

After walking up the stairs and going to the bathroom, something that vegans do a lot I have come to realise, I had sharp stabbing pains in my chest. This was coupled with a daylong headache that was invisible to pain killers. I was feeling a light headed and clammy. I knew something wasn’t right. I said to my lover I think there is something wrong. I decided to go to hospital. This weird hotel was inexpensive and in a great location. The room service was attentive and at times painful. The other occupants where colourful and the security guards where hot. They did regular checks on my heart beat and took out blood.

In the end I am still not sure what the deal is but I did realise that the excessive lifestyle has caught up to me. So now I am 5kg lighter and I am thinking skinny. I have joined the dieting cult where we eat small portions of everything and stay slightly hungry all the time. So watch this space. I highly recommend going on a vegan week because it cleans out your tum tums, as far as going vegan you will have to manage difficult diet, people’s pointless opinions, dinner party disasters. Start just eat less meat and a wider range of plant based foods and go from there

I’m not going to drink for a while and keep the diet clean. There was a point during that fateful night where I actually realised that people die from big macs. Thin people can be fat on the insides and the only reason why you are fat is because you aren’t doing anything about it.

Interesting fact – white Europeans are better at being overweight than people from developing countries, says doctor young dude. White fatties can withstand higher BMI’s.

 

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